ughhh seriously?! Today has been such a terrible day. I just want to cry..in fact, I actually did cry (in private of course, can't let anyone see THAT)
Warning: If you are male or have a weak stomach, don't read the rest of this. Seriously. End of warning.
Another of the health issues I've been dealing with is female problems. Yes, I'm talking menstruation..period..whatever you want to call it. From the age of 9 until present, I have had terrible, heavy, painful periods. All through middle & high school, I would miss so many days of school due to this. I spent the first two days of every period lying in bed, curled in a ball, with a heating pad on my abdomen and a bottle of Motrin beside me.
I've had two children and after each birth, the periods became even worse. My most recent ob/gyn told me two years ago, at the age of 26, that I needed to have a hysterectomy. When I heard this, I wanted to yell "SERIOUSLY! I'm 26 and you want to RIP my uterus out of my body?!" I mean at the age of 26 some women haven't even started having kids! So my ob/gyn said he would do a D&C and see if that helped with the problems. In early 2008 I had a D&C done, which is basically where the cervix is dilated and a knife-type tool is used to cut and thin out the lining of the uterus. The ideal result is a lighter period, but I had no improvement after the procedure. So my ob/gyn decided to start me on a birth control pill to lighten my period and reduce cramping. I had never been on birth control in my whole life; in fact I had a hard time getting pregnant with my second child. I resented having to put another medication in my body but agreed to try it. I took the birth control pill 3 weeks on, 1 week off for 8 months with no improvement.
In August 2008, I started my practical nursing clinicals. I knew that I wanted to go through clinicals but also knew that I couldn't miss any clinical days due to my female problems. I discussed this with my ob/gyn and we decided that I would switch to taking the active-only pills, with the result of me not having a period at all. I knew this was the only way for me to make it through a year of nursing clinicals without missing any days. The nursing program was very strict-if you missed more than 2 days of clinicals, you were removed from the program and had to go back on the waiting list until the following year. However, even with taking only the active pills, my body still kept trying to have a period. So I would have to go off the pill, have a period, and start the active pills again. The periods that I had during this time were a little lighter but because my body was meant to have a period-it messed things up. I was moody, felt bloated all the time, and just felt plain blah. But I made it through the nursing program and then switched back to taking the pill 3weeks on, 1 week off.
I graduated August 2009 and since then, have just been "dealing" with my female problems. I'm usually in bed or lying on the couch for the first day or two each month but after that can deal with it. However, today was just terrible. I had to get laundry done because we are going out-of-town next week and I want the house spotless (yes, I can be OCD about housework). Doing laundry here consists of putting the dirty clothes in a basket, driving 1/2 mile to my parent's house, washing the clothes, driving back home, and hanging them out on the clothesline. Right now, our bathroom floor is very soft and we are waiting on our landlord to fix the floor. Once the floor is fixed, we can bring our washer/dryer into the bathroom, where the hook-ups are. So instead of lying down and resting like I should have been doing, I had this MUST-get-laundry-done mindset. To make a long story short, my period decided to give a full-force appearance in the middle of doing laundry at my parent's house. So I run to the bathroom only to find I'm going to need a shower/full change of clothes. All the clothes were washed and either hanging on my clothesline at home or in my parent's washer. So I grab my car keys and an old towel to sit on and drive home. The embarrassing part was that I had to walk past my two brothers and past all the traffic driving by to get to my car to drive home.
But it doesn't end there. That would be too easy, right? I walk inside my house, throw the car keys down, kick off my shoes..only to hear my husband (who is sitting on the couch) say, "What's wrong?" I wanted to scream: "WHAT'S WRONG?! ughhhh! EVERYTHING!" But all I did was point to the back of my pants and he got the point. So I hop in the shower and have a meltdown. And cry. And cry. And cry. Why? Because I'm tired of dealing with this every month. Because I want to yell and scream and say "God, how much longer do I have to deal with this?! It's been almost 20 years!" Because I have to base everything around my period. We can't take vacations during my period. I can't get a job right now because I can't just call in sick EVERY month during the first two days of EVERY period. I have this fear of working as a nurse, being in the middle of caring for a patient in their room, and having this full-force period explosion all over my white nursing pants. I can't wear anything but black pants and long tops during my period. Plus on top of all of this, I have a final exam that is due by Friday of this week for my online class...and I have to wait until Friday to take it because I can't chance going on campus and having PERIOD ISSUES during the exam! So I walk out of the bathroom with tear-stained cheeks and red puffy eyes and my husband (who is still sitting on the couch) says, "Is [our son] still at your mom's?" ugggghhhh! I give him an evil look and walk back into the bedroom. What I wanted was him to ask if I'm okay or call me over to him and hold me or SOMETHING other than ask me an OBVIOUS question!
So I grab the phone book and sulk off into the bedroom. I haven't been to my ob/gyn since 2008 because he is just DIFFERENT. He is very straight-forward and keeps saying "hysterectomy, hysterectomy" and I just want to give him a piece of my "I'm not having a hysterectomy at 28-years-old" mind. So I call another ob/gyn and set up an appointment as a new patient. They tried setting up an appointment for 4 weeks from now, but all I had to do was spill out my gory monthly happenings and got an appointment for 2 weeks from now instead. But as I was on the phone, my husband comes into the bedroom and hears me making an appointment. I get off the phone and he says, "Did you get everything taken care of..Did you make me an appointment too?" and starts laughing!! SERIOUSLY! I want to cry but hold it in. Why are guys so insensitive? If he only knew what I go through with these female problems! If he could just go through it for one month, maybe that would change his attitude! For some reason, he doesn't think before he says things and then once he has spoken, it doesn't phase him. It's like his brain goes on to the next thought without giving any thought to what he just thought/said. So he comes in the living and says, "I'm heading into town" at which point I jump down his throat about how he's so insensitive and doesn't care about me and what I'm going through. And he gives me his usual remark: "Whatever" and walks out the door. And I cry and cry for the next half hour.
What can I say..it's been a GREAT day!
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